Boys and gardens
Gardens are good for kids, whether they’re girls or boys. But since I have boys, and I’ve been reading a book called Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys, by Stephen James and David Thomas, I’ve been thinking about how a garden is an especially good playplace for preschoolers with a Y chromosome. (And I blogged about five reasons boys love gardens on Jenny Fink’s blog, Blogging Bout Boys, last fall.)
James and Thomas call boys ages two, three and four "The Explorers," and in my experience, that’s a fitting description. Our Big Boy, now five years old, is just getting out of this stage, and Little Boy, at three, is right in the middle of it. And for each of the four characteristics of Explorers offered by James and Thomas, I can’t help but think how getting in the garden helps fulfill some innate need for the boys:
- Active. "Explorers are bundles of energy," James and Thomas write. Helping out in the garden gives Little Boy freedom to play in the dirt, roll around in the grass, and run through the rows (but not on top of the plants–and setting boundaries is good for him too, the authors say).
- Aggressive. When we spend too much time indoors (like this past weekend when it rained for two days solid), it doesn’t take long for the boys’ natural tendencies toward aggression to start showing. But get in the garden, and Little Boy has a chance to get it all out, smacking the soil with his little hoe or pulling and throwing weeds to his heart’s content.
- Curious. There’s so much to learn out in the wide world, and children this age want to take it all in. It’s a perfect time to talk about different plants and where our food comes from, and let them see it all in action. You may be surprised how much they retain.
- Self-determined. "Let me do it" and "I can do it by myself" are a constant refrain when you have preschoolers in the house. There are lots of household chores the boys can’t help me with, or their help prolongs the process too much to make it worthwhile. But in the garden, there are lots of jobs even Little Boy can do on his own — digging a hole, planting a seed, pulling weeds, picking tomatoes, pushing a wheelbarrow full of fresh veggies. And every task he accomplishes on his own helps build his confidence and affirm his place as a valued member of the family.
How do you think getting in the garden is good for your boys?
Kids, boys or girls, can learn so much from helping in a garden. Wish I had introduced my own children to the earth ….
I think gardening teaches discipline, organization, and routine for my boys. I involve them in all parts of the growing process — they each get a pot in the spring and have a say-so as to what they will plant in their container gardens. On planting day, we all work together to make sure that every seedling gets into the ground or into a container. I make sure they are frequently involved in watering the plants (and each other!). At 8 and 5 years, they already take pride and ownership of our garden. It is fun to watch them grow! My older boy is now raising two blueberry bushes, a pot of strawberries, and one lone tomato plant (we might need to get it a friend, I’ve noticed it’s not flowering) along with his flowers. Sometimes when we are in the garden together, I remind him that his great-grandfather was a farmer. I like to think that maybe I am helping to keep some family history alive.
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Boys are also thought of as “being good with their hands,” and I think it is true. Boys like to do hands-on tasks.
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Thanks for the shout-out, Nancy! My boys love the fact that gardening allows them to get dirty. I’m pretty easy-going about dirt anyway, but in the garden, they’re expected to get dirty. Gardening is a very tactile experience as well — the feel of the dirt, the smell of the soil, the sight of young seedlings — and so feeds boys’ need to learn via as many senses as possible. Gardens also offer multiple opportunities for continued learning. My boys help their dad make pickles from the cucumbers they grow, and learn that kitchens aren’t just for girls. They can with their grandmother as well, enhancing multi-generational connections. Boy #1 has even turned gardening into a business proposition.
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My 2 year old is a wild guy, that’s for sure. But when we get in the garden, he can stay in one place for what feels like forever. It’s as if he feels at peace there in the dirt, the earth and all its goodness. And that makes my heart smile!